He real nice this one. Want you to meet him. This one he real good to me. I’m happy. Real happy. Lost six kilo. Don’t know how, why. Just woke up and me fat was gone. Seemed like that. No diet. No nothin’. Just vanished. I’m real happy. His happy too. Want you to meet him. You like him, I know. Not like the others. No drinking problem. No belly. Not tough or sleazy. Just real nice. Gentleman. Placid like. Nice car. Good job. Dress is good. Always neat. Never scruffy. Barracks for Carlton hey. Just like me. We go sometimes. Oh boy I’m happy. Real happy. Want you to meet him. You like this one. I know. Good talker. Not stupid like some others. His smart. Friendly. Got real good manners too. His a Virgo. We make the perfect match. You see. This one for real. No bullshit. I no take bullshit anymore. At first I always saying sorry. Always worried that maybe he turn around and say piss off. Now I never worry and I never sorry. Is great now. Never not had to worry or be sorry before. I caught meself a beauty this time. A real good catch. You see. You like him. You have to meet him. I going to meet his family tomorrow. His mother. His father. His brothers and sister. Maybe even Grandma and Grandpa. I get real nervous. He keep saying don’t be nervous. They nice. They no bite. They’ll like you. Don’t matter what he say. I feel nervous anyway. Every time I think about it, I go to the toilet. Can’t help it. Is a big day for me tomorrow. Hope I don’t shit my pants hey. Then I’ll be in big trouble. Ah, you like him when you meet him. He pretty good looking too. You see. Is true. He say the same about me. He say his lucky. I say we both lucky. He say I’m perfect. I laugh and say nobody perfect. But he think so just the same. I no see him for one day and already he say he miss me. He always say good things. Nice things. I say nice things too. He always goes red. Real red. Like he embarrassed or something. Is funny too sometimes. Good joker. Yeah he a real good catch. He make me feel good inside. I got lucky hey. Real lucky and real happy. My friends hey you know they say they hardly recognise me now. Cause now no more fat. No more sad. Always happy, happy, happy! I walk down the street and say hello with big smile to people. People I don’t know. All cause I’m happy. Ah you like him when you meet him. This one for real. You see. Foo! Betta have a rest. My mouth gone all dry from all this talking. Good fun talking hey. Never talked enough before. But now! Now I talk and be happy all the time. How about you. You happy?
First published in Going Down Swinging, Issue 8 (1988)