The night of the morning,

of the laughing confession,


surreal and smarting

tried to shrink

and up the undigested food


The will I had

(then, but not then)

to subdue

opt out of that

into unprecedented slumber,

surely only added

to an aspect of indifference

that was no more real

than what already

eluded us


Later, it came

in waves and waves

the worst thing, not what, but

the not who, but

the lagunas

and the constant, future reminders

of my duality –

the line you crossed, knowingly

the one I did,


proving you

to be right


Jean Velasco is a writer, teacher, and translator, who has lived in Spain since 2011. Her story, ‘How Not to Quench Your Thirst’ was published in Growing Up Queer in Australia (Black Inc.) in 2019. In her leisure time, she can often be found reading under a tree in Madrid’s Retiro Park, or on Twitter @jean_sprout.