#4 Excerpt from The Bedroom Philosopher Diaries — the new book from Justin Heazlewood

Sunday August 14. Burnie. Burnie Arts & Function Centre.

Gig vibe: 7 Venue treatment: 7.5 Band morale: Good.

On a day when football wasn’t on and I’ve appeared in the local paper twenty times in three years, a whole sixty people turned out to see us play. I’m attributing this to the fact I haven’t been on TV and that I deleted most of my old high school friends on Facebook earlier this year. In an isolated, grass roots climate where interstate non-sporting success is viewed with suspicion and my photos making me look like a turbo nonce, my actions were the brick that broke the Ute’s rear suspension.

We walked on stage with the audience golf clapping, taking me back to my eisteddfod days. Dear Mum and Nan were in attendance and against atomic waves of pressure and the black water of a hangover, I exorcised a decent show. After Generation ABC I asked after Mum in the darkness. She chirped up ‘yep yep’ in her girlish voice, breaking my heart.

‘Rhythmic and original,’ was Mum’s appraisal of the gig while when asked if she liked it Nan replied:
‘Well it’s our fault if we didn’t,’ matching her cryptic appraisal of the Northcote video as ‘Fine.’
At the airport I bought the band a round of beers, sharing a sense of having survived the island. My theatre teacher texted to say I had nice ears.

From the awesome new book The Bedroom Philosopher Diaries by Justin Heazlewood. Illustrations for feature image by Leigh Rigozzi.
Avail. as an E-book through Affirm here: