I am here.

 

I am here in the room with you.

 

 

There is a honey eater in your window. Your cat is in the garden.

 

 

I haven’t seen you since

 

/ that workshop you did at the Wheeler Centre

 

/ it’s gotta be over two months ago

 

/ we were at Jack’s place playing cards, remember?

 

/ the fashion festival when you were dressed head to toe in gorgeous floral prints

 

/ I dunno, the last DnD game we played?

 

 

You were

 

/ there

 

/ telling me about your cats

 

/ so easy to talk to, even though we don’t know each other that well

 

/ radiant

 

/ you were DM’ing, obviously

 

 

I was

 

/ ready to be relaxed

 

/ stressed

 

/ anxious

 

/ weird and anxious, probably, like I usually am around people that I’m not used to yet

 

/ very happy that day, always happy to see you.

 

/ I was just trying to keep my grandpa’s skull from causing too much chaos

 

 

The light is trying to get in through these big old curtains you’ve hung.

 

I’m not judging. We’ve all been there, but

 

/ it’s daylight and you need to let the light in

 

/ sometimes it’s good to let a little bit of light in

 

/ it might be a good idea to let a little bit of the light in

 

/ even if you can’t go outside, it’s still nice to see the sun

 

/ but you know that sometimes you have to let the curtains open, even if it feels painful to do so

 

/… we’re more like plants than we think in that way

 

 

I don’t want to disturb too much, so I’m just going to pick up

 

/ these packets

 

/ this pile of papers that you don’t need anymore

 

/ my keys, my books

 

/ this Amy Hemple book

 

 

Could you clear away

 

/ some space on the table?

 

/ that power cord over there?

 

/ the plates?

 

/ these pens and pencils and notebooks?

 

/ some of those mats? They’re covered in pet fur.

 

/ some of these mugs?

 

I’ll put the clothes in the hamper, you take these to the kitchen.

 

 

Your house is nice, by the way.

 

I like what you’ve done with the front door area.

 

It looks really lush.

 

The

 

/ orchids

 

/ bottle brush

 

/ little baby ferns

 

/ Japanese peace lilies

 

are so beautiful.

 

 

I’ve been here for a little while, I hope that’s okay. I didn’t want to wake you.

 

Can you sit up? Have you eaten today?

 

Here, maybe another pillow will help.

 

 

I’ve been a bit worried about you. You haven’t been answering my calls. I’m glad to see you’re okay.

 

Are you okay?

 

 

I didn’t want to mention this earlier, I’m not in the room with you.

 

I am actually

 

/ in mine

 

/ at work

 

/ at the office, at work

 

/ in my car

 

/ in my shed at North Fitzroy

 

/ at home, in the spare room

 

/ sitting at home, listening to the rain outside

 

/ on my back verandah in Brunswick

 

 

You probably already knew that. The

 

/ sound of the car

 

/ rugby world cup is playing on the tv outside, the sound

 

/ sci fi posters

 

/ constant duress alarms in the background

 

/ sound of the rain

 

/ office is quiet but there is still that gentle hum of the printers and computers in the background

 

/ kid yellin’ in the background and the big, ginger cat floppin’ around in the bushes over there

 

/ silence

 

is a bit of a giveaway.

 

 

I do miss you, though.

 

 

Call me, okay?