You have plans to meet a friend after work. A friend who you work with, but who [isn't at work today.]<m1|(mouseover-replace:?m1)[isn't at work today. They weren't at work yesterday either, or [Wednesday]<m2| last week.]
(mouseover:?m2)[That Wednesday you sat and watched Harry eat lunch in the break room, and he said something to you about her.]
(mouseover:"he said something")[["She's the kind of person whose being there, or not being there, can totally change the [[weather]<m5| (mouseover-replace:?m5)[weather[ cloudy today, and a little bruised]<m6| (click-replace:?m6)[]]]]<orange| of the[[[ workplace|workplace two]]."]<orange|]
<img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/ballet_raw_2.png" alt="ballet shoes lined up" width="940" height="580">
At the start of each week, I have to break [(cycling-link:"my shoes","myself")]<orange| in. I go through 48 different [(cycling-link:"shoes","selves")]<orange| each year, and each [(cycling-link:"shoe","self")]<orange| takes me about 30 minutes to modify. I hold myself over [(cycling-link:"hot coals","the steam of a kettle")]<orange| to soften the shape - I also make my housemate a cup of tea while I'm there. I stand to press down on the hard parts of [(cycling-link:"my shoes","myself")]<orange| with the heels of my [(cycling-link:"palms", "feet")]<orange|. I mark stitch lines on [(cycling-link:"my shoes","myself")]<orange| in [(cycling-link:"pen","spit")]<orange|. I remove any itchy [(cycling-link:"labels", "feelings")]<orange|. I sew big stitches to start, and then come back around with smaller ones. I am not particularly gentle - I [(cycling-link:"grip","tear")]<orange|, I use [(cycling-link:"matches","pliers")]<orange|. But when I'm done these [(cycling-link:"shoes","selves")]<orange| will be able to stand without any support.
It is hard, this work, but when I watch it back I find it relaxing, almost medatitive. I like the sounds of [(cycling-link:"scissors cutting", "birds")]<orange|, the [(cycling-link:"measuring", "scoring", "matches struck")]<orange|. I know it's a stretch but it's the [(cycling-link:"shoe","self")]<orange| that seems to fit these itchy [(cycling-link:"feelings","labels")]<orange| best.
(live:10s)[(text-style:'fade-in-out')[[[1 New Message]]]<orange|]
<div class="b">(live:1s)["Oh sorry! How can I help you?"]</div>
<div class="a">(live:4s)["Do you have any more avocados?"]</div>
<div class="b">(live:7s)["What? Oh do we not have any more?"]</div>
<div class="a">(live:10s)["Um ... no."]</div>
<div class="b">(live:12s)["Oh right, they're meant to be here haha silly me."]</div>
<div class="b">(live:15s)["Give me a minute, I'll just [[[go out the back|avocados two]]]<orange| <br>and get some more."]</div>
<div class="a">(live:18s)["No worries."]</div><div class="a">(live:2s)[hey so i know we were gonna just go for a walk but]
<div class="a">(live:4s)[apparently there's an aflw match at vic park this arvo u wanna go?]</div>
<div class="b">(live:6s)[hell yeah i do]</div>
<div class="b">(live:8s)[where is it?]</div>
<div class="a">(live:11s)[vic park]</div>
<div class="b">(live:13s)[oh sweet]</div>
<div class="a">(live: 15s)[meet u there at like 4.30?]</div>
<div class="b">(live: 17s)[i'm still at work]</div>
<div class="a">(live:22s)[oh yeah right haha]</a>
<div class="b">[(live: 25s)[[[things to remember|two]]]]<orange|</div>You leave work fifteen minutes after you're meant to. You wanted to walk but you end up having to take the bus. The [weather]<m10| (mouseover-replace:?m10)[ weather [cracked and a little seeping]<m11| (click-replace:?m11)[]] has changed since you started your shift at the supermarket. You don't need your jacket anymore but you keep wearing it.
(mouseover:"bus")[You don't mind the bus, or this bus in particular - you like [the weave of this route.]<m5| (mouseover-replace:?m5)[the weave of this route[ straight up and down, some parts crosshatched with winter trees.]<m6|(click-replace:?m6)[.]] It's usually quiet, and you can get [the seat]<m8| that you like.(click-goto:?m8, "seat")]
<div class="a">(live:1s)[hey so i am here already]</div>
<div class="b">(live:4s)[sorryyy i got held up at work]</div>
<div class="a">(live:7s)[nah that's cool i ran into my friend Stace]
<div class="a">(live:10s)[so i'm just hanging with them and their friends]</div>
<div class="b">(live:13s)[oh ok]</div>
<div class="b">(live:15s)[cool!]</div>
<div class="a">(live:17s)[just text me when u get here and i'll tell u where we are]</div>
<div class="b">(live:20s)[ok]</div>
<div class="b">(live:22s)[i am almost there]</div>
<div class="b">(live:25s)[[[things to remember|Remember 3]]]</div>
You are restocking flavoured yogurts in the dairy aisle. You are stacking the little packets by colour, not by brand like you're supposed to. You wonder what the [[weather]<m5| (mouseover-replace:?m5)[weather[ an overcast day, where the sky is so imperceptibly grey it almost looks white]<m6| (click-replace:?m6)[]]]<orange| is like when you don't come in to work.
You spend the rest of the morning detecting changes in the temperature of your colleagues, changes in pressure in your customers. You wonder if Harry talks about you on the floor as well as in the break room.
(mouseover:"restocking flavoured yogurts")[
=|=
<div class="small_image"><img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/milk_left_strike.png" width="367" height="364" alt="Yoghurt Aisle in Supermarket"></div>
(mouseover:"colleagues")[<div class="content__block">Harry walks around like he's being lifted by</div><div class="content_block_two">[[[his armpits|break room]]]<orange|</div>
]
=|=
<div class="small_image"><img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/milk_right_strike.png" alt="Yoghurt Aisle in Supermarket" width="367" height="364"></div>
(mouseover:"customers")[<div class="content__block">A customer clutches basil by the leaves, </div><div class="content_block_two">[[[bruising them|shredding leaves]]]<orange|</div><div class="content__block"></div>]
|==|
]You walk through opening doors to where the trays of avocados are kept. You walk up to the top tray and go to grab the handles. You stop. You mould your hand into the shape of an avocado and cover it. You are standing on your toes but it's [[[all on your level|toes]]]<orange|.
(mouseover:"trays of avocados")[<table style= "width:150%">
<tr>
<td> (mouseover:"the shape")[<img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/avocado_wind.gif" alt="wind from Windy.com" width="530" height="321">]<img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/avo_left_strike.png" alt="Avocados" width="530" height="321"></td>
<td>
(click-goto:?f2, "toes")[(mouseover:"standing on your toes")[<img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/ballet_1bit.png" alt="Ballet shoes lined up" width="390" height="230">]<img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/ballet_1bit.png" alt="Ballet shoes lined up" width="390" height="230">]<f2|</td>
<td></td>
</tr>
</table>]
You make it to the football ground as the siren goes for the start of the second quarter. You climb the stone steps and look for your friend. You look for the person she is with, who you are pretty sure you also met at Jenny's party last week. You look lost. You [[[look|vic park]]]<purple|
<b>Things to Remember</b>
- You are working until 4.30pm today.
- You are working at 8.30am tomorrow.
- You have plans to go on a walk with a [[[friend after work|start]].]<orange|
- You have three books due back to the library.
- You are not bad at your job.
- Your rent is due next week.<b>Things to Remember</b>
- You are working until 4.30pm today. You were meant to be working until 2.00pm.
- You are working at 8.30am tomorrow. You really don't want to.
- You have plans to go to the football with a friend after work.
- You need to [[leave at 4.34pm|leave]] to get to the football ground by the end of the first quarter.
- You have three books due back at the library, except the books are busy hiding the tupperware full of basil that sits at the back of your work locker.
- Harry talks shit about literally everyone who works here - even the night staff and he doesn't even work night shifts.
- You are not bad at your job. You are actually quite good at it, but perhaps that's the problem.
- Your rent is due next week. <img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/traffic_raw.png" alt="Traffic from the bridge" width="940" height="580">Sometimes all I need is just a steady stream of [(cycling-link:"words","cars")]<yellow|. They create a rushing in my ears like [(cycling-link:"being underwater","coming up for air")]<yellow|. The [(cycling-link:"words","cars")]<yellow| are actually [(cycling-link:"fish","feelings")]<yellow| and I am floating above them, watching. I have climbed inside the [(cycling-link:"words","car")]<yellow| with at least four other people and I am letting them do all the driving.
On this particular road there is a petrol station to the left, where some people pull in to [(cycling-link:"refuel","get snacks","take a piss")]<yellow|. The road is dimly lit but most drivers seem to prefer it that way. Sometimes there are [(cycling-link:"gaps","breaths")]<yellow| in the traffic, a pause where no [(cycling-link:"words","cars")]<yellow| pass, but I'm not worried because there will always be more coming. I can see them [(cycling-link:"blooming","crowding")]<yellow| on the horizon line, they'll be lighting it up when the sun goes down.
And look I know it's kind of shit to make everyone else do the driving all the time. Sometimes I'm the driver. I am the driver on quiet roads, and if I'm in the [(cycling-link:"car","words")]<yellow| with someone I trust, or in groups of two or sometimes three. On highways I don't want to be driving at all, I just want to stand on the pedestrian bridge and watch.
I am standing on the pedestrian bridge right now, [(cycling-link:"palms","feet")]<yellow| on the rails, [(cycling-link:"feet","palms")]<yellow| on the ground. If I listen through the [(cycling-link:"words","cars")]<yellow| I think I can hear the sound of [(cycling-link:"scissors cutting","birds","water running")]<yellow|. I didn't even think about how a lone figure standing on a pedestrian bridge might make people nervous.
(live:10s)[(text-style:'fade-in-out')[[[1 New Message|text 2]]]]
=|=
(live:2s)[who is she friends with?]
(live:4s)[she's sasha's plus one]
(live:7s)[you mean plus one? or plus one]
(live:9s)[I dunno man, just plus one]
(live:11s)[ohhh right cool]
(live:13s)[i like sasha so that's fine]
(live:17s)[she doesn't say much does she]
(live:19s)[no not really]
(live:21s)[it's a little bit unnerving if i'm honest]
(live:23s)[yeah i reckon]
(live:26s)[maybe she's just shy. it's a big party]
(live:28s)[yeah maybe. i tried to have a bit of a chat with her before]
(live:30s)[and I dunno it was like she was trying to take in the whole room all at once]
(live:33s)[at one point she was like "sorry could we swap spots, that corner has a better angle"]
(live:35s)[weird]
=|=
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/nt3D26lrkho" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>
(live:20s)[[[hello?|seat two]]]
|==|
You get off the bus, even though you're five stops from the football ground. You stop at the top of the pedestrian bridge. You take a deep breath, and watch the cars. You pick one to follow all the way to the edge, and then [[[you pick another|journal 2]]]<yellow|.
(mouseover:"pedestrian bridge")[<table style= "width:150%">
<tr>
<td> (mouseover:"cars")[<img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/waves.gif" alt="waves from Windy.com" width="530" height="321" alt="Waves">]<img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/traffic.png" alt="traffic from the bridge" width="530" height="321"></td>
<td>
(click-goto:?f2, "journal 2")[(mouseover:"deep breath")[<img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/traffic.png" alt="traffic from the bridge" width="390" height="230">]<img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/traffic.png" alt="traffic from the bridge" width="390" height="230">]<f2|</td>
<td></td>
</tr>
</table>]
=|=
[[hey]<m5| (mouseover-replace:?m5)[hey[ where are u]<m6| (click-replace:?m6)[]]]<purple|
[[hey]<m7| (mouseover-replace:?m7)[hey[ there's lots of people here i can't find u]<m8| (click-replace:?m8)[]]]<purple|
[[hey]<m9| (mouseover-replace:?m9)[hey[ how are there so many people here haha]<m10| (click-replace:?m10)[]]]<purple|
[[hey]<m11| (mouseover-replace:?m11)[hey[ i don't know if i can do this today i am sorry ]<m12| (click-replace:?m12)[]]]<purple|
[[hey]<m13| (mouseover-replace:?m13)[ hey [um i'm actually not feeling that great]<m14| (click-replace:?m14)[]]]<purple|
[[hey]<m17| (mouseover-replace:?m17)[ hey [ i know i should've talked about this with you before this but i don't think I realised it until just now haha]<m18| (click-replace:?m18)[]]]<purple|
[[hey]<m15| (mouseover-replace:?m15)[[hey [i think i need some help]<m16|] (click-goto:?m16, "vic park two")]]<purple|
=|=
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/KLMhVJlOb3E?start=29" rel=0&controls=0&showinfo=0" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media&modestbranding=1 &autoplay=1" allowfullscreen></iframe>
|==|
<img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/football_big.png" alt="Victoria Park" width="940" height="580">I am not built like an AFL footballer, I am built like a 125L freestanding aquarium tank. I can hold all my [(cycling-link:"thoughts","fish")]<purple| inside 125L of water - I am slightly too large for a standard sized living room but I am [(cycling-link: "quite nice to look at", "a very calming presence")]<purple|, apparently.
Still, I am getting very tired of holding all these [(cycling-link:"thoughts","fish")]<purple| and carrying all of the [(cycling-link:"water","feelings")]<purple| around. The fish are always [(cycling-link:"the same fish", "making the same shapes", "darting the same patterns")]<purple| they always have. The bubbles used to calm me but now they just make me need to find a place to [(cycling-link:"piss","refuel","buy snacks")]<purple|.
It's not like I want to take a hammer to the glass or anything - that would be too much all at once, I don't want to kill all the [(cycling-link:"thoughts","fish")]<purple| I've ever had. Perhaps I could make a little scoop with my [(cycling-link:"palms","feet","mouth")]<purple|, give them out to people one by one and hope they don't flush them down the toilet.
(live:10s)[(text-style:'fade-in-out')[[[1 New Message|doing ok]]]<purple|]
|==|<div class="b">(live:2s)["Oh hi! Sorry I didn't recognise you."]</div>
<div class="a">(live:4s)["That's okay! I met you last weekend right? At Jenny's party?"]</div>
<div class="b">(live:7s)["Um yes! Yes, I was at that party."] </div>
<div class="a">(live:10s)["Yeah I thought so!"]</div>
<div class="b">(live:13s)["Oh [[[this is my stop|get off the bus]]]<yellow| coming up sorry!]</div>
<div class="b">(live:15s)["It was nice to see you again."]</div>
<div class="a">(live:18s)["Oh, yeah you too!"]</a><b>Things to Remember</b>
- You are working until 4.30pm today. You were meant to be working until 2.00pm. You were meant to have a lunch break but your manager forgot, and you didn't say anything about it.
- You are working at 8.30am tomorrow. You really don't want to. You could call in sick but
- Your rent is due next week.
- You have plans to go to the football with a friend and her friend, and their friends after work.
- You will need to walk 2.5 km/hr to the [[[football ground]]]<purple| by the end of the first quarter.
-You have met this friend before, and they are perfectly lovely.
- That person you met at Jenny's party was perfectly lovely, and she was just being nice. Kind even. You could've got to know her a little better if you'd stayed on for a few more stops.
- Your piece of concrete, you're pretty sure you left it in the till.
- You are not bad at your job. You are actually quite good at it, but perhaps that's the problem. No, the problem is that you think that just being good at your job will speak for itself.
- You can get hot chips as soon as you get to the football ground.
- Your rent is due next week.
=|=
(live:1s)[I mean she's super lovely but I dunno.]
(live:3s)[Sometimes I say stuff to her and it's like she's not even on this planet]
(live:5s)[I know what you mean but I think that's just how she is?]
(live:7s)[nah, this is something different. she's still there, but also she's not.]
(live:9s)[also have you noticed how she walks on her toes all the time?]
(live:12s)[I think she said she used to do ballet?]
(live:15s)[What? no way I cannot imagine that.]
=|=
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/b9D_iJX2k5I?rel=0&controls=0&showinfo=0" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media&modestbranding=1 &autoplay=1" allowfullscreen></iframe>
(live:12s)[[[Excuse me?|workplace three]]]
(live:15s)[[[Hello?|workplace three]]]
(live:18s)[[[Sorry?|workplace three]]]
|==|You go back to restocking flavoured yogurts in the dairy aisle. You are stacking the little packets by colour, not by brand like you're supposed to. You wonder what the colour of the [weather]<m5| (mouseover-replace:?m5)[weather[ an overcast day, where the sky is so imperceptably grey it almost looks white]<m6| (click-replace:?m6)[]] is like when you don't come in to work.
You spend the rest of the morning trying to detect changes in the temperature of your colleagues, changes in pressure in your customers. You wonder if Harry talks about you on the floor as well as in the [[old ballet convo]].
(mouseover:"restocking flavoured yogurts")[<table style= "width:170%">
<tr>
<td> (mouseover:"colleagues")[<img src="images/green_text1.png" width="367" height="364">]<img src="images/milk_left_strike.png" width="367" height="364"></td>
<td>(mouseover:"customers")[<img src="images/green_text2.png" width="367" height="364">]<img src="images/milk_right_strike.png" width="367" height="364"></td>
<td></td>
</tr>
</table>
]
<div class="b">(live:2s)[hey i'm sorry but i'm not feeling great all of a sudden]</div>
<div class="b">(live:5s)[i think i might need to go home]</div>
<div class="a">(live:8s)[oh really? what happened?]</div>
<div class="b">(live:11s)[i dunno i just got really nauseous]</div>
<div class="a">(live:15s)[oh no! that's ok u [[[do what u gotta do]]]<purple|]</div>
<div class="b">(live:18s)[thanks]</div>
You turn and walk back to towards the bus stop. Your heart beating as fast as a football player lining up to kick a goal after [the siren]<m1|. (mouseover:?m1)[You hear the siren, and it makes you want to curl up into an avocado shape and roll off the side of the pedestrian bridge.]
You take a seat on the curb a few blocks from the pedestrian bridge and pull up the 2am video - the [(cycling-link: "ballet video", "traffic video", "fish cam video", "static video")]<purple|. (mouseover:"2am")[But it is not 2am, it is 6pm, and the glare from the sun makes it hard for you to see the screen. You see the bus coming and you do not stand to catch it. You catch the sound of the [(cycling-link:"siren","magpie")]<purple| in your throat.]
[(live:15s)[[[Hey are you ok?|Hey are you ok?]]]]<purple|=|=
<iframe width="460" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ip7kKxq0BCo" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>
The End
[[[Start Again|Start Page]]]<orange|
=|=
<center>(live:10s)[<b>Things to Remember</b> was made using <a href="http://twinery.org" target="_blank"> Twine</a>.]
(live:15s)[The black and white images were manipulated using <a href="https://amorphous.itch.io/strike" target="_blank">Strike</a> by Amorphous.]
(live:20s)[The weather GIFs were sourced from <a href="https://www.windy.com/?-37.816,144.967,5" target="_blank">Windy.com.</a>]
(live:25s)[Images not made or taken by me were sourced from <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/oEVso2to-C4" target="_blank">Alejandro Duarte</a> and <a href="https://unsplash.com/@neonbrand" target="_blank">NeONBRAND</a> via Unsplashed, and <a href="https://flic.kr/p/7yDHa1" target="_blank">gorfor</a> via Flickr. ]
(live:30s)[Thanks for [(cycling-link:"reading","playing")]<orange| :)] </center>
|==|
You take the thin roads and the buildings are like a blanket wrapped tight around your shoulders. You get to the bus stop.and it is magpie coloured.
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/qELSSAspRDI?start=63" rel=0&controls=0&showinfo=0" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media&modestbranding=1 &autoplay=1" allowfullscreen></iframe>
[(live:5s)[[[hey r u ok|vic park two]]]]<blue|
(live:2s)["What?"]
(live:4s)["Oh, uh, yes!"]
(live:6s)["Sorry, no I'm fine."]
(live:8s)["Really. I'm fine."]
(live:10s)[[[["Thanks though."|Thanks though]]]<purple|]
The next time you look up and see [(cycling-link:"people","avocados")]<purple| rolling down the street like a [spilled tray]<m1| of [(cycling-link:"avocados","people")]<purple|. [(cycling-link:"People","Avocados")]<purple| in hats and scarves, half-drunk tinnies clutched to their chests. (mouseover:?m1)[A [(cycling-link: 'avocado','person')]<purple| in a football jumper spills their guts onto the nature strip. You feel like you would like to do the same. You think your insides might be the same colour.]
[[[Things To Remember|things 2 remember]]]<purple|You get the seat that you like - on the right, by the window, over the bus wheel. You rest your feet on the wheel cover and bring your knees up to your chest. You mould your head to the shape of the window and are about to close your eyes.
(mouseover:"by the window")[
=|=
<div class="small_image"><img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/trees_left_strike.png" alt="winter trees" width="367" height="364"></div>
(mouseover:"feet")[<div class="content__block">Someone is running for the bus like </div><div class="content_block_two">[[[a bird|bus stop]]]<yellow|</div>
]
=|=
<div class="small_image"><img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/trees_right_strike.png" alt="winter trees" width="367" height="364"></div>
(mouseover:"knees")[<div class="content__block"> I think I know the person kneeling at the </div><div class="content_block_two">[[[bus stop|conversation two]]]<yellow|</div>]
|==|
]
You go back to restocking flavoured yogurts in the dairy aisle. You are stacking the little packets by colour, not by brand like you're supposed to. You wonder what the colour of the [weather]<m5| (mouseover-replace:?m5)[weather[ an overcast day, where the sky is so imperceptably grey it almost looks white]<m6| (click-replace:?m6)[]] is like when you don't come in to work.
You spend the rest of the morning trying to detect changes in the temperature of your colleagues, changes in pressure in your customers. You wonder if Harry talks about you on the floor as well as in the [[old ballet convo]].
(mouseover:"restocking flavoured yogurts")[
=|=
<div class="small_image"><img src="images/milk_left_strike.png" width="367" height="364"></div>
(mouseover:"colleagues")[<div class="content__block">Harry walks around like he's been lifted up from</div><div class="content_block_two">[his armpits|lifting him]]<orange|</div>
]
=|=
<div class="small_image"><img src="images/milk_right_strike.png" width="367" height="364"></div>
(mouseover:"customers")[<div class="content_block_two">A woman</div><div class="content_block_two">shredding leaves</div><div class="content__block">with their fingernails</div>]
|==|
]A customer clutches a bunch of [[[basil]<m5| (mouseover-replace:?m5)[basil [ I have a bunch of basil, rotting in tupperware, up the back of my work locker.]<m6| (click-replace:?m6)[]]]]<orange|by the leaves, bruising them.
Leaves from the bunch poke out from between their fingers like soft, [[[sweet smelling]<m7| (mouseover-replace:?m7)[sweet smelling [ A sweet colleague offered me some from her garden and I took it, knowing full well that I wasn't going to use it. ]<m8| (click-replace:?m8)[]]]]<orange| keys.
In her basket I spot the [[[ingredients]<m9| (mouseover-replace:?m9)[ingredients [ Instead of taking the tupperware out, I have brought in a stack of TBR books from home to hide it. ]<m10| (click-replace:?m10)[]]]]<orange| for an emergency telephone.
A bunch of bananas, a [[[stack]<m11| (mouseover-replace:?m11)[ stack [ I will finish the books, but I will also keep the basil, for luck with money and to keep my locker smelling fucking amazing.]<m12| (click-replace:?m12)[]]]]<orange| of plastic cups and a wad of string.
[(live:10s)[[[Hello?|workplace three]]]]<orange|I am arranging them carefully in the bottom left hand corner of the [[bus window]<m7| (mouseover-replace:?m7)[bus window [ I love this bus route for the way it comes down the hill through the thick trees, and then just when you think you're deep in somewhere green the city opens out right in front of you. I know the city is over now, but if people want to continue making postcards of the skyline, this bus window is where they should shoot them from]<m8| (click-replace:?m8)[]]]. I am using the tweezers I have in my bag for pulling out the short, [[thick hairs]<m5| (mouseover-replace:?m5)[thick hairs [ I can't really film it for Youtube but I can stick each hair like a blade of grass to the bottom left hand corner of my mirror - it's one of my favourite things to do.]<m6| (click-replace:?m6)[]]] I sometimes find growing out of my face.
(live:7s)[[[Hello?|seat]]]at the stand. You stand and watch the players moving back and forth across the field, boots flashing in the weak sun. They are so strong, and they move so fast. Bruised clouds roll in, it looks like it might rain any second and it makes everyone here feel a bit more at home.
(mouseover:"boots")[Someone kicks a goal, and suddenly her teammates are all there, whirlpooling around her. They all have a part to play and they're all playing it, they're all giving a hundred and ten percent.]
(mouseover:"weak sun")[
=|=
<div class="small_image"><img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/football_big_mirror.png" alt="Victoria Park" width="367" height="364"></div>
(mouseover:"so fast")[<div class="content__block">I can see the inside of my</div><div class="content_block_two">[[[head |magpie]]]<purple|</div>]
=|=
<div class="small_image"><img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/football_big.png" alt="Victoria Park" width="367" height="364"></div>
(mouseover:"so strong")[<div class="content__block">Oh fuck I think I am going to </div><div class="content_block_two">[[[cry|send a message]]]<purple|</div>
]
|==|
]
<b>Things to Remember</b>
(live:3s)[- Breathe In.]
(live:6s)[- Breathe Out.]
(live:9s)[- Breathe In.]
(live:12s)[- Breathe Out.]
(live:15s)[- Breathe In.]
(live:18s)[- Breathe Out.]
(live:20s)[- [[[There is an avocado in your backpack.|Wait what's this?]]]<purple|]Under the books, the receipts and the three empty tupperware containers, you find the avocado in your bag. You forgot that you took it from work, but you remember that you didn't pay for it on purpose.
(mouseover:"avocado")[You mould your hand into an avocado shape, mould yourself into an avocado shape and [[[close your eyes|journal 3]]]<purple|.]
(mouseover:"mould your hand")[<table style= "width:150%">
<tr>
<td>(click-goto:?f2, "journal 3")[<img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/football_big.png" width="530" height="321"><img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/football_big.png" width="530" height="321">]<f2|</td>
<td>
<img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/avo_right_strike.png" width="390" height="230"><img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/avocado_temperatures.gif" alt="image" data-orig-width="728" data-orig-height="410" width="390" height="230"></td>
<td></td>
</tr>
</table>]
<br>
A person runs for the bus like a bird, [concrete]<m10|(mouseover-replace:?m10)[ concrete[I have a small piece of concrete that I keep in the till for when I work on the registers.]<m11|(click-replace:?m11)[]]-heavy shopping bags clipping their wings.
The person is running as fast as they can but the bus still [streams]<m8| (mouseover-replace:?m8)[ streams [When there's a gap in the stream of customers I take the concrete out and run the tender flakes of my fingernails across it.]<m9| (click-replace:?m9)[]] straight past them.
They throw their shopping bags down on the concrete and [flake]<m6| (mouseover-replace:?m6)[ flake [Sometimes the concrete flakes off its chunk and onto the floor and I have to crush it into the polished concrete which I feel kind of bad about.]<m7| (click-replace:?m7)[]] their coat off in frustration.
In their shopping bags I can see flavoured yoghurts and avocados and a pair of wings that they keep [forgetting]<m5| (mouseover-replace:?m5)[ forgetting [Sometimes I'll put the concrete in my pocket and forget about it, and then I'll find it again at a party and it will be like finding extra chips in the bottom of the bag.]<m4| (click-replace:?m4)[]]to use.
[(live:5s)[[[Omg hi!|seat two]]]]<yellow|
The next time you look up the weather has broken its bruise. The rain has come and gone and your knees are wet. The concrete is wet and in the sun it looks good enough to rip up in chunks to put in your pockets.
(mouseover:'sun')[A packet of sun hits the glass of the half-finished apartment building across the road and for a shakey second you feel like you've just got the best seat on the best bus route. You unfurl slowly from your avocado shape just as the next bus rounds the corner. You'll [[[get on the bus|You get on the next bus]]]<purple| that comes after it.]
(live:2s)[Hi there,
We're planning essential maintainence work on the mobile network around FITZROY between xx/xx/xxxx and xx/xx/xxxx.
Your mobile service may occasionally be interrupted during this time. We'll let you know when maintenance work has completed and you're back to full coverage.]
(live:4s)[[[[Omg fuck off|come by]]]<purple|]
You are restocking flavoured yogurts in the dairy aisle. You are stacking the little packets by colour, not by brand like you're supposed to. You wonder what the weather is like when you don't come in to work.
You spend the rest of the morning detecting changes in the temperature of your colleagues, changes in pressure in your customers. You wonder if Harry talks about you on the floor as well as in the break room.
=|=
<div class="small_image"><img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/milk_left_strike.png" alt="Yoghurt Aisle in Supermarket" width="367" height="364"></div>
<div class="content__block">Harry walks around like he's being lifted by</div><div class="content_block_two">[[[his armpits|break room]]]<orange|</div>
=|=
<div class="small_image"><img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/milk_right_strike.png" alt="Yoghurt Aisle in Supermarket" width="367" height="364"></div>
<div class="content__block">A customer clutches basil by the leaves,</div><div class="content_block_two">[[[bruising them|shredding leaves]]]<orange|</div>
|==|
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[(live:2s)[[[Hello?|Hello?]]]]<orange|
You get the seat that you like - on the right, by the window, over the bus wheel. You rest your feet on the wheel cover and bring your knees up to your chest. You mould your head to the shape of the window and are about to close your eyes.
=|=
<div class="small_image"><img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/trees_left_strike.png" alt="winter trees" width="367" height="364"></div>
<div class="content__block">Someone is running for the bus like </div><div class="content_block_two">[[[a bird|bus stop]]]<yellow|</div>
=|=
<div class="small_image"><img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/trees_right_strike.png" alt="winter trees" width="367" height="364"></div>
<div class="content__block"> I think I know the person kneeling at the </div><div class="content_block_two">[[[bus stop|conversation two]]]<yellow|</div>
|==|
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[(live:2s)[[[It is you!|Hi]]]]<yellow|and you stand. You stand and watch the players moving back and forth across the field, boots flashing in the weak sun. They are so strong, and they move so fast. Bruised clouds roll in, it looks like it might rain any second and it makes everyone here feel a bit more at home.
Someone kicks a goal, and suddenly her teams are all there, whirlpooling around her. They all have a part to play and they're all playing it, they're all giving a hundred and ten percent.
=|=
<div class="small_image"><img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/football_big_mirror.png" alt="Victoria Park" width="367" height="364"></div>
<div class="content__block">I can see the </div><div class="content_block_two">[[[inside of my head |magpie]]]<purple|</div>
=|=
<div class="small_image"><img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/football_big.png" alt="Victoria Park" width="367" height="364"></div>
<div class="content__block">Oh fuck I think I am going to </div><div class="content_block_two">[[[cry|send a message]]]<purple|</div>
|==|
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[(live:2s)[[[hello?|hey]]]]<purple|
=|=
(live: 1s)["(either:"I mean she's super lovely.","Sometimes I say stuff to her and it's just ... nothing.", "Yeah I know what you mean.", "I think that's just how she is?", "Have you noticed how she walks on her toes all the time?","I think she used to do ballet?","No way, I cannot imagine that.")(stop:)"]
(live: 3s)["(either:"I mean she's super lovely.","Sometimes I say stuff to her and it's just ... nothing.", "Yeah I know what you mean.", "I think that's just how she is?", "Have you noticed how she walks on her toes all the time?","I think she used to do ballet?","No way, I cannot imagine that.")(stop:)"]
(live: 6s)["(either:"I mean she's super lovely.","Sometimes I say stuff to her and it's just ... nothing.", "Yeah I know what you mean.", "I think that's just how she is?", "Have you noticed how she walks on her toes all the time?","I think she used to do ballet?","No way, I cannot imagine that.")(stop:)"]
(live: 9s)["(either:"I mean she's super lovely.","Sometimes I say stuff to her and it's just ... nothing.", "Yeah I know what you mean.", "I think that's just how she is?", "Have you noticed how she walks on her toes all the time?","I think she used to do ballet?","No way, I cannot imagine that.")(stop:)"]
(live: 12s)["(either:"I mean she's super lovely.","Sometimes I say stuff to her and it's just ... nothing.", "Yeah I know what you mean.", "I think that's just how she is?", "Have you noticed how she walks on her toes all the time?","I think she used to do ballet?","No way, I cannot imagine that.")(stop:)"]
(live: 15s)["(either:"I mean she's super lovely.","Sometimes I say stuff to her and it's just ... nothing.", "Yeah I know what you mean.", "I think that's just how she is?", "Have you noticed how she walks on her toes all the time?","I think she used to do ballet?","No way, I cannot imagine that.")(stop:)"]
(live: 18s)["(either:"I mean she's super lovely.","Sometimes I say stuff to her and it's just ... nothing.", "Yeah I know what you mean.", "I think that's just how she is?", "Have you noticed how she walks on her toes all the time?","I think she used to do ballet?","No way, I cannot imagine that.")(stop:)"]
(live: 21s)["(either:"I mean she's super lovely.","Sometimes I say stuff to her and it's just ... nothing.", "Yeah I know what you mean.", "I think that's just how she is?", "Have you noticed how she walks on her toes all the time?","I think she used to do ballet?","No way, I cannot imagine that.")(stop:)"]
(live: 24s)["(either:"I mean she's super lovely.","Sometimes I say stuff to her and it's just ... nothing.", "Yeah I know what you mean.", "I think that's just how she is?", "Have you noticed how she walks on her toes all the time?","I think she used to do ballet?","No way, I cannot imagine that.")(stop:)"]
(live: 27s)["(either:"I mean she's super lovely.","Sometimes I say stuff to her and it's just ... nothing.", "Yeah I know what you mean.", "I think that's just how she is?", "Have you noticed how she walks on her toes all the time?","I think she used to do ballet?","No way, I cannot imagine that.")(stop:)"]
(live: 30s)["(either:"I mean she's super lovely.","Sometimes I say stuff to her and it's just ... nothing.", "Yeah I know what you mean.", "I think that's just how she is?", "Have you noticed how she walks on her toes all the time?","I think she used to do ballet?","No way, I cannot imagine that.")(stop:)"]
(live: 33s)["(either:"I mean she's super lovely.","Sometimes I say stuff to her and it's just ... nothing.", "Yeah I know what you mean.", "I think that's just how she is?", "Have you noticed how she walks on her toes all the time?","I think she used to do ballet?","No way, I cannot imagine that.")(stop:)"]
=|=
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/b9D_iJX2k5I?rel=0&controls=0&showinfo=0" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media&modestbranding=1 &autoplay=1" allowfullscreen></iframe>
(live: 36s)["(either:"I mean she's super lovely.","Sometimes I say stuff to her and it's just ... nothing.", "Yeah I know what you mean.", "I think that's just how she is?", "Have you noticed how she walks on her toes all the time?","I think she used to do ballet?","No way, I cannot imagine that.")(stop:)"]
[(live:39s)[[[Excuse me?|workplace three]]]]<orange|
(live: 42s)["(either:"I mean she's super lovely.","Sometimes I say stuff to her and it's just ... nothing.", "Yeah I know what you mean.", "I think that's just how she is?", "Have you noticed how she walks on her toes all the time?","I think she used to do ballet?","No way, I cannot imagine that.")(stop:)"]
(live: 45s)["(either:"I mean she's super lovely.","Sometimes I say stuff to her and it's just ... nothing.", "Yeah I know what you mean.", "I think that's just how she is?", "Have you noticed how she walks on her toes all the time?","I think she used to do ballet?","No way, I cannot imagine that.")(stop:)"]
[(live:48s)[[[Hello?|workplace three]]]]<orange|
[(live:51s)[[[Sorry?|workplace three]]]]<orange|
=|=
(live: 2s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
(live: 5s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
(live: 8s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
(live: 11s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
(live: 14s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
(live: 17s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
(live: 20s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
(live: 23s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
(live: 26s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
(live: 29s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
(live: 32s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
(live: 35s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
(live: 38s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
(live: 41s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
=|=
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/nt3D26lrkho" rel=0&controls=0&showinfo=0" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media&modestbranding=1 &autoplay=1" allowfullscreen></iframe>
(live: 44s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
(live: 47s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
(live:50s)[[[Hello?|seat two]]]
(live: 53s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
(live: 56s)["(either:"She's Sasha's friend.","She doesn't say much, does she.", "Oh cool, yeah I like Sasha.", "I think that's just how she is?", "No not really?","Quiet people make me kind of nervous, you know?","Maybe she's just shy, it's a big party.", "I tried talking with her a bit before.","She asked if we could trade places.", "What?", "You know, like where we were standing.", "Oh right. Weird.", "She seems perfectly lovely though.", "She was holding something, looked kind of like a bit of gravel?", "Concrete maybe?")(stop:)"]
[(live:59s)[[[Hey?|seat two]]]]<yellow|
|==|
=|=
<h1><b>Things to Remember</b></h1>
by Tegan E Webb
Content Warning: This piece touches on feelings of anxiety and brief moments of dissociation.
To navigate through the piece, click these [[[links]]]<orange|. There will also be text that looks [like this]<c1|, hover your mouse over it (mouseover:?c1)[to reveal more text.]
Ready to [[[Begin|things to remember]]]<orange|?
=|=
<img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/waves_titles.gif" width="530" height="321"><img src="https://goingdownswinging.org.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/waves_titles.gif" alt="waves from Windy.com" width="530" height="321">
|==|Perfect!
Click the links to move forward through this piece, but if at any point you need to go back, use the 'Undo' arrow located to the left of this text. <div class="a">(live:2s)[hey i hope u r ok!]</div>
<div class="a">(live:4s)[the game is over now]</div>
<div class="a">(live:6s)[if u need anything i can drop by ur place on the way home x]</div>
(live:9s)[thank u <3]
[(live:11s)[[[i am ok tho|the next time]]]]<purple|Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.